Put your kid on a plane

No, really.

Preferably by sophomore or junior year.

But if you're reading this and your child is already a senior, it's not too late.

Put your kid on a plane.

Anywhere.

Visit family. Go to a summer camp. Tour colleges. Spend a weekend with family friends.

The destination doesn't matter nearly as much as one thing.

You don't go with them.

Will it be uncomfortable?

Absolutely.

For them.

And probably for you too.

That's the point.

Every year I meet with families to talk about college.

Sometimes I look at a student's college list and see schools scattered all over the country.

Half are in-state.

Half are thousands of miles away.

Then I ask a simple question:

"Have you ever traveled anywhere by yourself?"

Many times the answer is no.

Not a flight.

Not an overnight camp.

Not even a weekend visiting family.

Yet we're expecting this same student to move across the country a year from now.

That disconnect has always fascinated me.

Families spend months researching acceptance rates, GPAs, majors, rankings, and campus life.

Those things matter.

But I think we often skip a much more important question.

Is my student ready to be independent?

Not academically.

Personally.

Emotionally.

Socially.

A student can earn a 4.0 GPA and still struggle with independence.

Can they walk into a room where they don't know anyone?

Can they advocate for themselves with a professor?

Can they solve a problem before calling home?

Can they navigate an airport?

Can they recover when something doesn't go according to plan?

Those are the skills students use every single day in college.

One of the colleges I worked for hosted visit days where admitted students flew in to experience campus.

I was surprised by how many students told me it was their very first flight alone.

I was even more surprised by how many parents asked if there would be a chaperone.

For their senior.

A student who would likely be moving away from home just a few months later.

And no...

Parents couldn't stay overnight with them.

Nor should they.

Because that visit wasn't just about seeing a college.

It was about discovering they could do something on their own.

One of the greatest gifts we can give our kids isn't making life easier.

It's helping them discover they are capable of doing hard things.

Sometimes that's getting on a plane.

Sometimes it's getting a job.

Waking up with their own alarm.

Calling a professor instead of asking you to send the email.

Working through a disagreement with a roommate.

Walking into the student union by themselves.

Applying to college without their parents filling out every application.

These moments build something far more valuable than a résumé.

They build confidence.

We spend so much time talking about college readiness as if it's measured by grades, test scores, and extracurricular activities.

I don't think that's the whole picture.

College readiness is also learning to be uncomfortable.

Learning to solve problems.

Learning to trust yourself.

Because discomfort isn't something to avoid.

It's something students learn they can move through.

I know parenting today gets labeled with terms like helicopter parenting and snowplow parenting.

I don't think it's that simple.

I actually love that today's students often have close relationships with their parents.

That's something worth celebrating.

The goal isn't to be less involved.

The goal is to raise a student who gradually needs you a little less.

Those are two very different things.

Eventually your child will leave home.

Whether it's across town or across the country.

The goal isn't to make that day less emotional.

The goal is to make sure they believe they can do it.

So before you spend months worrying about acceptance letters...

Before you obsess over rankings...

Before you debate one more college list...

Put your kid on a plane.